You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
