I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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