ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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