One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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