Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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