Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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