If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Who died my cat blue again?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
