I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
