He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
