You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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