hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
