Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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