I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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