I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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