i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
