Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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