I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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