You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
