I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
