I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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