Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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