So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
