Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Randomize
