please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
