You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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