OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
