So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
