I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
