I want to walk on stilts...naked
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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