You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
