honey bunches of taint.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
