i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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