she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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