we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I stole a fireplace last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
