So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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