Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
