Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
