dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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