Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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