I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
