Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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