is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
