Me. At least after what I've been through.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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