Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are we still banned from the library?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
