So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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