im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ladies don't puke and tell
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
