please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
