so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
