I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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