Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
false alarm. still invincible.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
