Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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