I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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