Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
