Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
